7 Tips To Increase Your Sex Drive

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By: J Brennan

Has your sex life been a bit neglected lately? Its not like you don’t care but well, it’s just finding the time and energy. It seems impossible some days because there’s work and cleaning and working out and grocery shopping and cooking dinner, laundry, kids, family commitments, friends, ironing!

When you do get horizontal you pass out within minutes. Or you’re not in the mood. Or you just can’t be bothered. Soon enough a month has passed and you can’t remember the last time you had sex. And when was the last time you kissed your partner and I mean really kissed them, not just a polite peck?

If this sounds like you and you want to get back to having a healthy sex life keep reading.

1. Start slow

If you haven’t been intimate for sometime then you might want to build up slowly to get back in synch with each other. Instead of attempting to leap from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into each other’s physical space by touching when you can and by being considerate with each other.

2. Surprise!

The element of surprise can be very enticing. You could try taking a long bath together, ambush your partner with a long slow kiss when they are expecting to just touch lips, buy some sexy outfit and give them their own fashion show!

3. Say what you’d like

Don’t assume that because you’ve been together for awhile that your partner knows exactly what you want. Even if they do know, it won’t hurt to tell them once in awhile.

4. Enjoy yourself

When was the last time you fell about laughing together? Or try playing your favorite music and dancing up a storm. Or buy the music that was popular when you first got together and put it on for a trip down memory lane.

5. Put it on paper

If you feel embarrassed saying what you want write it instead. The plus is that you can be as specific as you like without your face turning beetroot red and it gives your partner time to process what you’ve said and get into the mood.

6. Be There

Focus on what you are doing by stopping the internal chatter. Don’t worry that you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or how you need to call your mother about her birthday, or the fact that you’re out of cereal. Leave all that stuff to later. Much later. Chances are it won’t seem nearly so important once you’re done.

7. Sex stories to get you in the mood

The mind is crucial in any attempt to resuscitate your sex life. It needs to be turned on first and the body will follow.  Increasing your sex drive won’t happen overnight. It will take some effort. But it won’t happen just because you want it to be different. Try taking an active approach to getting the most out of your sex life. Of all the strategies listed above, reading erotic stories can be one of the most powerful. The secret is finding the right stories but even that isn’t so difficult anymore.


J Brennan provides guidance on love, sex, marriage and family for couples seeking more from their relationship with her website: LoveSexMarriage101.com She also has a collection of sexy stories available at Sexdrive101.com

The Way I Look At My Wife

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By: Ayize Ma’at

You can call “it” soft, weak, whipped, or naive …BUT …there’s one thing you must call “it” and that’s REAL.  The “it” I’m referring to is the way I look at my wife.  What’s funny is that I had no intention whatsoever on doing a post like this, but a recent comment on our site combined with dozens of other comments on youtube and in person, all of which expressed fascination, intrigue, gratitude and awe when referring to how I look at Aiyana… kinda prompted me to write this post.  To be truthful, until yall pointed it out to me I was unaware that there is a “certain way” I look at my wife.  For “hippin” me to that,  I say thank you….because I believe…. what you’re seeing in my “look” is the passion, promise, possibility and unrelenting potent love that I feel for my wife, Aiyana Kai Ma’at.

****To purchase a copy of the ground breaking film YOU SAVED ME  featuring Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at CLICK HERE.****

5 Tips To Help You Tease Out Your Orgasm

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By Dr. James Wadley

Too often, we become so fixated on having a mind blowing, earth shattering, toe-curling orgasm that we forget how nice it can be to be teased, touched, enticed, caressed, taken, enthralled, and compelled sexually.

Sure, chandelier-hanging sex “til the cops come knockin” is cool, but for many people, the challenge of reaching orgasmic ecstasy remains elusive.

Here are a few tips that you may want to consider:

1. Be present. Be “in the moment” and try not to think about work, kids, bills, or the challenges of life.  Focus on what feels pleasurable for you.

2. Be patient. Trying to rush your climax may only delay it from happening. Give yourself as much time as you want to enjoy being sexy for yourself and/or for your partner.

3. Be creative. Having only one way to “get there” may get old over time. Be willing to experiment with different positions, different times of the day, various places, and using toys.

4. Be free to be you. Know what turns you on/off. Do you like seductive talking? Maybe wear sexy clothes? Do you prefer the lights on/off? Firm or soft body caressing? Does spontaneity turn you on? Figure out what it takes you “there.”

5. Be willing. Be willing to teach your partner about what you like and what you don’t like sexually. Your partner isn’t going to know unless you tell him/her what is sexy and pleasurable to you.  Some people prefer to be passionately kissed on their neck while others prefer to have their thighs,  calves, and feet caressed. Tell your partner what feels good and be willing to even show him/her what turns you on.

CLICK HERE to read more.

A Birth Control Pill For Men Is On The Horizon

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By Ellis Moore

Researchers have identified a small molecule compound that inhibits sperm production, and they say it could lead to the first non-hormonal, easily reversible male contraceptive since the introduction of the condom centuries ago.

A hormone-free drug tested in male mice might someday prove viable for men who want their own birth-control pill, according to new research.

The compound stifles sperm production but not sexual activity, fertility returns once treatment stops and males can go on to father healthy offspring, the researchers say.

CLICK HERE to read more.

2 Little Dirty Words: Premature Ejaculation

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by Aiyana Ma’at Most men think (or would like you to think) they can lay it down like no other in the bedroom. We’ve all seen plenty of movies with men telling tales of their back breaking, getting up in it, toe curling sexual prowess. Couple this with the myth that there’s something magical about a black man’s penis and what do you have—the perfect setting for a man who has to fake it even when he ain’t feeling it, can’t be honest about sexual issues he may be having, and certainly can feel as if there is something deeply and terribly wrong with him just for having sexual “problems”. Even if you’re the kind of man to keep your bedroom escapades to yourself—you’re not likely to hint around at any concerns or issues you might be having in that department. Not in this society where for many men the sum total of who they are lies in what they do (as in a job, work, etc.) and how they perform (as in whip it out and whip it on ya in the bedroom).

Let’s separate fact from fiction. According to a new national survey, at least 85% of American men say the last person they had sex with had an orgasm. And yet, only 64% of American women say they had an orgasm the last time they had sex. Hmmm… It seems that this so-called “orgasm gap” is just one of the findings of this survey, the largest since 1994, undertaken by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion and published in a special issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

So, we know men can have sexual issues, right? So, free yourself up to talk about them and wives free your hubby’s up to feel ok to share.  The most common type of sexual dysfunction a man can have is premature ejaculation. Say it with me—-preeeee-mat-uuuure ejaaaaa-cu-laaaaation. It’s not a bad word–it’s an issue and it can be made better but you first have to acknowledge that there may be a possibility that you have this issue and say the damn word!

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is a male sexual dysfunction generally characterized by:

-ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration;

-inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations;

-and negative personal consequences, such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Sexuality Counselor, Dr. Ian Kern has a new book out titled Overcoming Premature Ejaculation and has blogged about the symptoms and solutions to PE. Here are some questions he says you should start with to see if PE could be an issue you’re having.

Do you suffer from chronic PE?

1. Are you unable to control how long you last during sex?

2. Do you climax within a minute or less of starting intercourse?

3. Have you tried various methods to deal with PE, only to have your hopes dashed?

4. Are you dissatisfied with your sex life?

5. Do you often worry about pleasing your partner?

6. Does even foreplay often lead to “end of play?”

7. Do you avoid intimate situations because they could lead to premature ejaculation—so why even bother?

8. Has PE damaged your relationships with women?

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you could have chronic PE. And you’re not alone. To learn more about PE and see where you can purchase Dr. Kern’s book CLICK HERE.

My Husband Wants Female Friends Because He’s Frustrated With Me Sexually

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VIDEO: Occasionally while we are out here coaching couples we come across people that use their spouses “lack of action” to justify their actions outside of their relationship. In this video we are dealing with a similar scenario where a husband wants female friends because his sex life with his wife SUCKS and is basically NON-EXISTENT.  The wife is saying “What should I do!”….so we give her some real advice…as usual.

I Gave My Man CHLAMYDIA and He Left. Will I Ever Have A Chance At New Love?

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Video: I need your thoughts. I was in a relationship with a guy that was a dear friend and to be honest he was imperfectly perfect for me, at least that is what I thought. He and I had only been in a relationship for a month but we were friends for 8 months. Before we decided to be with each other I was involved with this other guy and he and I did something together that I regret but it led to him giving me an STD that was treatable. I am normally very careful but for the first time I got intoxicated and did something crazy like had sex without protection. I ended up getting Chlamydia and giving it to my new boyfriend and he left me. I got it before he and I were in a relatioship together and as soon as I was tested for everything and got my results I informed him of the outcome and he left me and won’t speak to me. I told him a thousand times how sorry I am and that it was not intentional because the guy that gave it to me, he and I were exclusive for months just not willing to be in a relationship with one another. I know i did what was right by telling my boyfriend but I really feel like I have lost the guy that was made for me and I really don’t know where to go from here because I don’t want to miss out on a chance at real love.  Please help.

3 Ways That Age Affects The Penis

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By Felicia Vance

How does aging affect male’s primary sex organ? It is a question that seeps into every man’s mind, no matter what his situation may be. Whether single, married, healthy or unhealthy, a man’s body will eventually go through some changes.

Here is brief rundown of what men can expect to occur as they age:

Penis Appearance & Size

As man crosses the prime sexual period, 30 years in many cases, the male organ undergoes some significant changes. The penis head gradually loses its color due to reduced blood flow, and pubic hair loss can be observed in some cases. If a man puts on excess weight, and as he ages, the organ loses its girth and length. The size loss can be reversible when caused by weight gain, but not when caused by aging. There is nothing to worry about if you notice the reduction in the size, since it simply happens due to reduced blood flow.

At least two mechanisms cause the penis to shrink. One, the slow deposition of fatty substances (plaques) inside tiny arteries in the penis, which impairs blood flow to the organ. This process, known as atherosclerosis, is the same one that contributes to blockages inside the coronary arteries — a leading cause of heart attack.

Curvature

If penile scar tissue accumulates unevenly, the penis can become curved. This condition, known as Peyronie’s disease, occurs most commonly in middle age. It can cause painful erections and make intercourse difficult. The condition may require surgery.

CLICK HERE to read more.

Sex And The Christian

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By Lana Moline

C’mon yall, don’t start sweating.  When God spoke to me about writing a post on this subject I was sweating enough for all of us.  So you, my friend, just relax.

My nervousness and our discomfort about this subject is a great place to start.  My husband and I have a running joke in our home.  It’s always our indication that our kids are guilty and have done something that they know they should not have.  We don’t spaz out.  We simply ask them “who told you that you were naked?”  Of course their typical response is “huh” but it speaks to the source of their discomfort.

When Adam and Eve walked freely in the garden, God never said to them to cover up nor for that matter did he address any restraints within their relationship.  He carefully shared with us that it was not good for man to be alone and made him a helpmeet.  He simply gave a warning to stay away from the fruit of tree of knowledge of good and evil.  It was only in their disobedience that they felt condemned and afterwards they took it upon themselves to fix it.

If we follow the example of what God created then we would not be embarrassed when the subject of sex comes up because we would be clear that God created it as a gift within the confines of marriage.  Our sons and daughters would relish the opportunity to “keep themselves” as the older generation calls it and there would be no confusion about boundaries within dating and the art of courting would return.

Fortunately for us, we serve a merciful God who knew before we were born that we would boff things up royally so He sent His son to die on the cross for the remission of our sins.  The word of God warns us about the severity of committing sins within our bodies yet society as a whole endorses intimacy as a sport.  What a joy to know that still through it all, we have a choice.  We can stand as God created us and walk our purposed path of righteousness and reap the benefits of everlasting life.  Or we can live a life feeling naked and ashamed.

The truth of the matter is, God’s word is clear and I am so glad that “although heaven and earth shall pass away, God’s word will not.”  So if you are still cringing at the thought of this subject, ask yourself why and then take it to God in prayer.

Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.

20 Reasons To Convince Your Partner To Have Sex More Often

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By Julian Sagan

If you are faced with a choice of having sex or getting some rest after a crazy exhausting day, and you are leaning toward getting a good night sleep you should know that you might be missing out on a chance to lose weight, improve your immune system, get younger, increase your IQ, improve your mood and prolong your life. And this is far from being a complete list of benefits of having  sexual intercourse. The following are the 20 reasons why you should have sex more often.

 

1. If you have sex at least twice a week you will look at least 5 years younger.

This has been discovered by English researchers who compared couples who have sex regularly and couples of the same age who prefer sexual abstinence. Couples having regular sex looked much younger than their actual age, while those who opposed sex looked their age at best. There is just one disclaimer though, in order for the body and soul to be young you should have sex with a regular sex partner who you care about rather than sleeping around.

 

2. Exercising in bed is a pleasant alternative to exhausting exercising in the gym.

There has been a study done by Italian professor Bruno Fabbri proving that 26 minutes of having sex with climaxing at the end burns all the calories you consume by eating an entire pizza! He devoted a whole separate study to chips and hamburgers proving that the calories contained in these fast foods can be neutralized by a 53 minutes French kiss. Even the efforts the man applies to unhook the bra burn 18 kilocalories. We recommend unhooking it with your teeth since this simple jaw exercise burns 86 kilocalories right away.

 

3. Hormones serotonin and oxytocin produced during orgasm help get rid of insomnia.

Both of these hormones have a relaxation effect and serve as a great sleeping pill. This explains why the moans of ecstasy and bliss are quickly replaced with the steady breathing of sleep.

 

4. Sex keeps men healthy.

Unfortunately, with age, men hesitate to have sex, which is too bad since regular sex life actually helps men to maintain potency, stay in good shape and have a good mood.

 

5. Bad mood is also a reason to have sex.

During sexual intercourse endorphin is produced, which is the hormone that stimulates good mood and optimistic perception of the surrounding world. That is the reason why sex relieves stress and improves your mood. Endorphin’s effects are multiplied by hormones serotin, cortisol and dopamine, which actively fight depression and cause the after-sex euphoria.

 

6. The skin of sexually active women is smooth and silky.

Regular sex life increases the production of collagen protein, which is the element that improves the skin metabolism, moisturizes the skin, and makes its surface smooth and velvety. You are unlikely to see a face of a sexually active woman covered in pimples, most likely they have been disposed of by hormone progesterone, the level of which is directly correlated with how sexually active you are.

 

7. It turns out that women that enjoy giving oral sex have easier and more enjoyable pregnancies than those women who prefer traditional means of lovemaking.

There has been an experiment performed by Australian scientists on a hundred women, the results of which were that regular intimate relationships before pregnancy and especially oral sex help a woman’s immune system get used to the partner’s sperm. After all, most inconveniences during the nine months of expecting are caused by the struggle of the mother’s immune system with the foreign body or fetus. However, if the husband and wife’s bodies “communicated” a lot on the sexual oral level, the woman’s body is more likely to accept the new “guest” without causing any issues.

 

8. Pheromones are fabulous!

Male hormones pheromones normalize the woman’s hormonal balance. A weekly portion of this substance eliminates any menstrual cycle abnormalities.

 

9. Out of all the known sedatives sex is the most pleasant and healthy.

During the climax the tensed muscles contract intensively which leads to absolute relaxation. During this time the person not only completely relaxes physically but also mentally. This is exactly the reason why people who have satisfying sexual lives are more friendly and content than those who avoid the pleasures of sex.

 

10. Sex with the person you love is a great medicine against migraines.

It definitely helps the American women according to a study conducted by Illinois scientists on 50 sexually active women suffering from migraines. Every fourth of them had a noticeable reduction of a headache after each sexual intercourse and every eighth woman had a headache go away completely.

 

11. Here is some original advice for students – during the exams times have sex more often, and if you are single at the time then at least masturbate!

It has been discovered that the blood circulation in our body reaches its maximum speed at the peak of an orgasm. The oxygen enriched blood reaches all the body organs including the brain and hence each orgasm increases your IQ level. In addition sexual exercises stimulate the hypothalamus activity, which controls the functioning of the hormonal system along with memory and learning centers. Therefore even self-satisfying during the long nights of cramming for the exams increases your concentration level and improves memory.

 

12. Sex is the best prevention of prostate inflammation and cancer both of which lead to a decline of male’s sexual abilities.

Regular ejaculation for a man is not only the pleasurable moment of orgasm, but also the emptying of prostate gland, which is the required condition for its health.

 

13. A passionate and sensual woman who often enjoys the pleasures of sex is very likely to have an ideal flat stomach.

This makes since because the movement of the penis inside the vagina and the muscle contractions at the moment of orgasm are a great exercise for your abdomen. Strong pelvic muscles not only maintain your abs in great shape, but also your back. Therefore “exercising” in bed replaces any diets.

 

14. Sex is a great stimulant of the immune system.

Those who have sex once or twice a week have 30% more immune cells produced than those who are sexually passive, hence the conclusion that sex can protect against getting sick. Although there is one snag to it, having sex too often on the contrary decreases the number of immune cells.

 

15. If you suddenly came down with a toothache grab your partner and drag him to bed.

Sex is an effective cure of toothache. The healing power is provided by hormones of happiness- endorphins, which are produced in large quantities during sex. Besides sexual pleasures strengthen the teeth enamel and gums since sex improves blood circulation and hence the blood flow to the mouth cavity.

 

16. During sex the level of hormone estrogen in the female body is increased twice.

The benefit of its increased quantity is obvious. First of all, the chances of developing osteoporosis, excessively fragility of bones, decrease. Secondly, this hormone affects the cardio-vascular system and improves the skin condition. And thirdly, estrogen drastically reduces the cholesterol level in your blood.

 

17. According to cardiologists in the whole world, sex prevents heart diseases.

A study in one of the hospitals in USA showed that 65% of patients delivered to the hospital with heart issues have either ignored sex completely or did not get any satisfaction from it. Similar results have been obtained in a study with men who underwent a heart attack. Almost half of them were experiencing problems in bed and a lot of them suffered from impotence. Regular sex is a good exercise for the heart muscle.

 

18. Sexually active people live much longer than sexually lazy ones.

This is the conclusion drawn by British scientists who studied a group of people 45 to 49 years of age for over 10 years. It turned out that the risk of parting with their lives is twice lower for those people who have sex at least twice a week, while rare sexual intercourses unfortunately do not prolong life at all. There is another observation that they made – those who have a good sexual appetite and are married also live longer, and being married is a obligatory requirement for longevity of the same importance as sex.

 

19. Psychologists recommend sex as a means of communication.

The body language satisfies the person’s psychological need to communicate, expressing a whole variety of sensations – keenness, affection, trust, security.

 

20. In addition, if you are having sex, you are not shooting at a war, not twiddling your thumbs, not spoiling your sight by sitting in front of the computer, not fighting with your significant other, not eating fast food, not cluttering your lungs with tobacco, and so on, the list could be endless.

 

So with all of this in mind, what are your plans for tonight?