These 20 black female business leaders have all shared the same title: chief executive officer. But they’re also known as mentors, philanthropists and role models with business savvy and ambition that transcend race and gender. During Women’s History Month, theRoot took a look at their career trajectories and history-making successes.
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By Neysa Ellery Taylor
Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
Now, before I get started let me say that I know this verse is a metaphor, not to be taken literally. But the reason that I chose to open with it is because that is how I feel about my tattoos. People often ask me why I have word tatts and no pictures. For me the first reason is simple: Words speak to me. Every word that I have on my back I earned. For those of you who don’t know, my back reads “Breathe, Strength, Passion, Wisdom, Obedience.” I earned each of those words. Let’s start with “Breathe.” There was a point in time when I could not see into the future. I was so lost that I didn’t really think that I would make it. Thinking about taking it one day at a time was even too much.. So I started concentrating on my next breath. I quit thinking days ahead. I quit thinking minutes ahead. I concentrated on the now and getting to my next breath. So I earned “Breathe.” I have earned each of those words through self reflection and hard work. So while they are written on the “tablet of my heart,” they are also written on my back as reminders of where I have been and what I have accomplished.
When people ask me if I will get any more tatts, I smile and reply “probably so.” The reality is I hope so. I hope to always learn something new about myself, to stretch and grow, to meet challenges and survive them. As I write the new lessons on my heart, I am sure that I will write them on my body as well. Quite honestly, the only reason I haven’t added more words is because I still struggle with the last word I added – Obedience. I quite often remind myself of a headstrong toddler.. I know what God wants me to do but I don’t always follow it. Until I consistently answer “yes” to all of God’s commands, I can’t add another word to my tattood report card.
The second reason I only have words at this time is because the picture I want is the grand finale. To call it a picture seems to minimize its significance. I will get a grand tree, deeply rooted and reaching upward. Why? Because trees just do what they were designed to do – worship. (Thank you Alice Walker for this metaphor.) Trees weather all of the seasons – plenty and famine, sun and rain – all while reaching upward in worship. For me, trees epitomize the way we are meant to worship. Through good times and bad, we should always reach out to God. Once you see that tattoo on my back, you will know that I am finished with my artwork, and with this type of illustration of the lessons I have learned. Not finished learning, but just finished displaying my homework.
Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com
By Lana Moline
One of the things that I fear the most about motherhood is that my kids will have some of the same feelings I’ve had about my mother over the years. She wasn’t as attentive as I wanted her to be at times. She wasn’t available because of work commitments and sometimes she just flat out couldn’t relate and for that I was angry for a long, long time. The old folk certainly knew what they were talking about when they said “you live long enough, you will learn” because I have. My oldest daughter is at an age where my crown doesn’t shine as bright to her and that’s the beginning of something huge. From this point on, she will see the world through her own eyes and not from the throne of mommy. That’s a little scary for me because I still very much desire to guide and show her everything. While the time has come for me to entertain the thought of loosening the reigns of adolescence, I must now define and understand for myself what that means exactly. For whatever reason, it was a little different with my son although I suspect my husband went through similar personal challenges in this regard. We’ve reached a point where she fits my clothes and quite honestly, many of them look better on her. She’s becoming a young woman before my eyes.
In my heart I think about down the line and I picture adult kids around the table with their spouses and kids but to actually watch as the transformation begins is surreal. Our conversations these days are evolving and the answers that worked in the past just won’t do. In fact, her questions have changed. She’s deep and while she continues to amaze me, I find that now the challenge is truly mine to rise to the occasion to meet her changing needs. This is probably the single most amazing journey – ushering in a relationship that I know will be lifelong. Everything is important to me. I don’t want to miss any of it although I know that I miss the mark sometimes. I was probably too hard on my mother because it is really impossible to be all things to all people. She is kind, compassionate, an excellent cook, a brilliant educator/teacher and an overall wonderful mother. I know that now and I sincerely hope that my girls and my son for that matter will say the same about me.
I’ve asked myself time and time again what legacy I want to leave. Yet the older I get, the more that changes for me. I desire so much for them to truly live and enjoy whatever path they choose in life. I believe in their success so I’m not so worried about specific career choices. I don’t want them to be afraid to try something unique and I very much want them to find the thing that they are passionate about and give their all. I want them to celebrate their wins each time and treat themselves to something frivolous just because. It is important that they like who they are and at the end of the day their decisions line up with their own personal truths. A relationship with God is a must yet I will never dictate the vehicle they choose because it is their choice to make. I guess all in all I want them to smile, hold their heads high, pick themselves up when they fall, push themselves to reach success and enjoy every minute of it. I don’t want to paint the picture for them. I suppose my picture of legacy is just a sketch of a solid foundation. Prayerfully, my contribution is that ray of light that says “you can do anything.”
Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.
By Lucy O’Brien
Women who give too much in relationships will usually find that their relationships don’t work out. And this happens to many women. They give far too much, far too early, and then wonder why it isn’t appreciated. If you’re exhausted from giving to your man, if you feel drained from feeling that you get little in return, read this article to find out why giving too much will not win a man over.
Women can be very generous and giving in relationships. Naturally a girl wants to impress her new man early on. However, giving too much is never a good thing when you hardly know a guy. If you give too much without requiring that you receive in return, he may well take your generous gifts but he will know subconsciously that you undervalue yourself. He will lose respect for you early on. He may well take advantage but then he will probably leave.
This is because giving too much tends to come from a sense of neediness and inadequacy. If I give more, he will love me more. If I do more he will appreciate me more. She gives because she does not want to lose the relationship that gives her purpose. She is frightened to say no to him in case he gets upset and dumps her. Perhaps she does his laundry, lends him money and gives him gifts or sleeps with him too soon. She may put her own life on hold so she is always available to him and gives in to his last minute requests and demands.
Does he appreciate this? No, he does not. If she lets him walk all over her, he will not respect her and the relationship will be doomed. He will assume she is desperate. Or that she is easy. A man actually wants a woman who can stand up for herself and will look out for herself, despite what he says to the contrary. This is because a man wants a woman who values herself. If you give yourself away to someone you hardly know, you do not value yourself. And if you don’t place any value upon yourself then he certainly won’t. Men will value and respect you in accordance with the value and respect that you place upon yourself.
An immature man may encourage you to be selfless, and give generously to him, but he will only be interested in you as long as you are giving. As soon as you expect something in return, he will not be able to give back. You will end up exhausted and drained. This is 1 good reason to get to know him before you give too much!
Added to this, women who give too much in relationships are generally incapable of receiving because they don’t feel worthy. She feels uncomfortable if he pays for dinner or buys her gifts or helps her out in any way. She feels she should be independent and doesn’t like to ask for his help. However, a mature masculine man needs to feel needed by his woman. He is happy to help, as long as she admires his efforts. It is important to him to be significant. Generosity is a masculine trait and for this reason, a man will love to treat his dream girl. A woman who knows how to receive and appreciate will bring out the best in her man and make him feel good. These are the relationships that succeed, not the ones where a woman gives too much.
Instead, her giving makes him feel smothered. He senses her neediness and he feels uncomfortable with her expectations. He wonders when payback time will come. Such women are giving because they want something back. They want the relationship at any cost. Who the man is tends to be fairly irrelevant and he knows this. Without the relationship she feels empty and void.
If you are one of these women who give too much in relationships, then you are not alone. Most of us have been there at some point in our lives. Giving too much is generally an unconscious behaviour. We don’t even know we are doing it. Once you are aware of it, you can start to look at the reasons why you do it. Realise that now is the time to start placing a higher value on yourself so that a man will value you more. Start learning to receive as well as to give and appreciate every little thing that your man does for you. This will encourage him to give more and feel good about it. If you can do this, you will have more energy and happier relationships.
You can read more from Lucy at http://makemyrelationshipfabulous.info
By Team BLAM
The first ever all-Female Crew on Commercial Jet Flights 2781 made history just a few years ago and we have so much respect for Delta Airlines for stepping up and pushing back time. If you have not seen this story here it is again—Delta Airlines located in Atlanta GA had the first all African-American female crew for a commercial fight. Black History is still being made every day.
By Neysa Ellery Taylor
I also had to learn to ask for help. The last piece that I wrote was about how I can do it all. I can wear the Superwoman cape, work a corporate job, and raise some kids. I was singing Chaka Khan – “I’m everywoman, it’s all in me” – at the top of my lungs. And I was exhausted doing it. When my personal deadline was menacingly staring me in the face, I realized one thing – either I ask for help or I miss the mark. I opened my mouth and asked for help. I didn’t just get help. I got love. I received so much help,concern,and time from my sister circle. They came and stayed all hours of the night to help me achieve a goal. I’ve known that my sistercircle was tight but I was amazed and so filled by the love they showed me. And I realize that these same sisters – and more – will have my back in future endeavors, just like I will always have theirs.
I realized that everything can’t go into the future with you. To move forward with a major change you have to cut off some dead ends. I had 7 years worth of hair on my head and my ends were raggedy. I had to cut off the dead ends. Obvious metaphor here, right? To move forward in life, I have to leave some dead things behind me. Everything can’t go with me into the next phase of life. I have to leave some baggage in the past and let it stay there.
Finally, I have to get to know the new me. Loc’d hair was resistant to rain and humidity. Free natural hair takes time and care. Little things like owning a shower cap or a wrap cap (sistas, you feel me right?) had been missing from my daily routine for years. I have to get to know the new me. I have to spend time with the new me. And I have to treat the new hairdo totally different than the old one. The new Neysa can’t act like the old Neysa. I can’t expect new things while doing the old stuff I used to do. I have to govern myself with a new set of rules, by a higher standard.
So those were my lessons learned from the seemingly simple act of taking down my locs. It’s funny, the old me would have thought I was just changing my hair style, but the new me knows that I am changing my life.
By Team BLAM
Professor Melissa Harris-Perry recently made a guest appearance on the “Colbert Report” to talk about racism in America, her upcoming MSNBC show and new book, “Sister Citizen,” which is about the stereotypes of black women in the U.S.
She examines 4 stereotypes about black women that she feels are damaging and painful. They are “Jezebel”, “Mammy”, “Sapphire” and last but not least the “Strong Black Woman”.
Listen in and drop us a comment with your thoughts.
Learn more about Melissa Harris Perry’s new book SISTER CITIZEN: Shame, Stereotypes, & Black Women HERE.
By Ayize Ma’at
A few weeks ago, in response to a barrage of immature and disrespectful virtual opinions about me….I found myself asking the question…..What the hell is a SIMP? And without a moments hesitation I received a response from more than one guy saying “You nigga”. Now before I continue let me give you a little back story. Exactly 1 year ago….Jan 19th 2011 I posted a video on YouTube titled “Women Today Ain’t Like Women Of Yesterday (check it out below if you haven’t already seen it). That video was met with a massive applause by many women because in the video I essentially expressed that men don’t really know that women today ain’t like women of yesterday because we really didn’t take the time to get to know them yesterday and we still aren’t taking the time to get to know them today. Again, many women loved it….some fellas felt it, and a small number abhorred it. That is until recently at least….lol
A few weeks ago I started receiving a bunch of comments on this video which led me to believe it was either placed on somebody’s website or it was promoted in the virtual environment somewhere which was provoking such an outpouring of responses. One of those responses came in the form of a 2 minute video of some dude who had recorded himself laughing as he watched my video on his computer. I was thinking “really dude”. It’s weird watching someone watch a video of you. Here are some of the comments that were made on Women Today Ain’t Like Women Of Yesterday:
– This is one of the WORST simps I have seen on youtube. He is EXACTLY what feminism has done to BM, made them a joke of a man who grovels to women for appeasement. How dare he compare BW of the past to this RANCID generation of thug lovers, mammies, ghetto gaggers & nigga haters!!!
– this nigga is weak a typical “momma made man”
– Mangiiiiina aleeeert!
– We’ll see how long this SIMP empowers women when his REDBONE leaves his ass.
– Dude get you a big ass glass of MAN UP. Nah, you need the 3-liter bottle cause you ain’t got no testosterone in your system.Taking a ride on the SIMP train and about to get his ticket punched.
– Oh I see, you’re one them niggas that thinks The Color Purple movie was a true depiction of black relationships. You are a pussy ass nigga dawg and your wife OBVIOUSLY wears the pants. You’re really trying to argue that men aren’t naturally supposed to lead? Kill yourself, and if you didn’t know your wife is fucking another dude. I promise you.
– captain save a hoe
– Forsaking your manhood and playing second fiddle to a woman just to be able to “smell it”.
– SIMPING at its finest SMH!
When I received all of these comments I was like “Wow!” I wasn’t really offended, more than anything I was amused and saddened by the short sightedness of the men who made these comments. There was a compulsion to “get back in the lab” and create something to challenge, inspire, and encourage men to get beyond their “ball size” and the junior high preoccupation with “who has the biggest dick on display”. There was a compulsion to express to them that their mind and spirit has the capacity to extend far beyond a 12 inch ruler and getting to know women deeper and more completely through effective communication will only increase the value of their relationships and their lives.
So again I went to the lab…and started working on something that will hopefully meet that goal (Due to be released in April). Until then let’s keep striving yall. It’s way bigger than me….It’s way bigger than Aiyana….It’s all about the growth and development of healthy family’s and healthy community’s. We’re going to do our part and we’re challenging you to do yours. Check out the video below if you haven’t had a chance to and as always remember STOP PLAYING and START PUSHING.
By Team BLAM
We can’t say it enough….in order to have a healthy relationship and truly love someone else….YOU’VE GOT TO FIRST LOVE YOURSELF. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. You are where you are, who you are, and what you are because you are… supposed to be. So celebrate your uniqueness, embrace your divinity, and cherish your beauty because if you don’t ….nobody else will. The above video is inspiring little girls and grown women everywhere to reacquaint themselves with the completeness of their God given natural beauty by remixing the image of Barbie and giving her a funky and flavorful natural hairdo. The women of Frolific have taken up this cause because they understand the importance of African American girls appreciating their natural beauty and want to inspire girls to have greater self esteem.
VIDEO: I am a mother to a four year old boy.He is the most precious to me and i want to give him a great life.Therefore being a full time mother to him is most important priority.I am a very hands on mother.I do the school runs, arts and crafts, library visits, leisure time, home schooling, e.t.c..I also work part time to make ends meet.I want to be a Naturopath requires for me to attend university.I was juggling motherhood, work and studies last year and due to the pressure, the studies didn’t go to well so I decided to put it on hold for now.Having said all that, How do I chase this career path whilst holding a job and being a mother at the same time?Some times it feels like the whole world is on my shoulders?Help???
