It’s Good To “Go Through” Before You Say I Do

VIDEO: You never really know a person until you witness them handling hardship. If you are thinking about taking your relationship to the next level pay close attention to how your partner deals with difficulty, disagreements, and rejection. How they cope in moments of mild or significant conflict will help you decide whether this person is the one you truly want to spend your life with. Most folks we know try to avoid pain & conflict at all costs. But, we believe conflict is a normal and natural thing. Yes, we will even go as far as to say it’s a GOOD thing. Does it feel good? No. Is it necessary? Yes. If we never experience the strain and stress of pain and conflict with the one we say we love then we never get a chance to truly experience the remarkable healing power of forgiveness, repair, and emotional and spiritual maturation with another person. I once read somewhere that if you are comfortable you are not growing. While most of us would love to stay in La La land with our sweethearts 24/7 that is just not possible and we would dare to say it just isn’t healthy either. We believe one of the greatest gifts of our most sacred relationship is its ability to help “grow us up” mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We are not supposed to stay the same. We are all supposed to evolve and the one we love more than anything yet gets on our last nerve at the same time is the perfect one to help us do it.! At the end of the day it’s really OK to “go through” before you say I DO.

Go Ahead And Give Him Some…

VIDEO: It’s easy to do the same old thing and not challenge yourself to move beyond what’s comfortable….especially when it comes to SEX. However, what’s easy ain’t always right. Do something different….initiate sex with your man, get creative, and turn him out. If you are still the same in the bedroom and the sex ain’t changing that’s not a good thing. If it rarely happens in your house…that’s even worse. Get beyond yourself and go ahead and give him some…

FREE “How To Avoid Falling For A Jerk or Jerkette” Introductory Class & Information Session




Jerks, losers, men and women who ain’t about nothing…call them whatever you want—we will show you how to avoid them and find “the one” that’s right for you. This class will help you break destructive dating patterns that have kept you from finding the love you deserve.

Learn to:

*Ask the right questions to inspire meaningful, revealing conversations with your partner.

*Judge character based on compatibility, relationship skills, friends, and patterns from family and previous relationships.

*Resolve your own emotional baggage so you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

Come out on August 28th at 4:30pm and meet your instructors and other singles determined to pick a partner who’s right for them. Experience a sample class, meet other singles, ask questions, and get details about Fall classes & groups.


Still not sure? Listen in below.


A Moment Of Intimacy Knee To Knee…

VIDEO: It’s good to take time in your relationship to connect in the midst of the busyness of everyday life. We have to B Intentional about making time to “get still & get connected in” with our partner. Sometimes that moment of intimacy where ears and hearts are open is experienced during a back rub, a foot massage, or…as we show you in this video…Knee to Knee. B Intentional about checking with your souse and exploring what’s on each other’s spirits. Take a peek inside of our relationship as we demonstrate this exercise to you and then commit to trying this in your own relationship. It certainly can’t hurt! It’s a good thing….your relationship is thirsty for it.

FREE “Basic Training For Couples” Introductory Class & Information Session



Spend time with other couples looking for the same thing you want, a great relationship or marriage. Fabulous relationships don’t just happen. They happen because couples learn the skills to make it happen. If you don’t work for your relationship it won’t work for you. Learn why marriage is important, the sweetness of surrender, how to move from “I” to “We”, communication skills, how to manage conflict, hot monogamy, and so much more!

Come out on August 28th at 2pm and meet your instructors and other couples determined to make their relationship last. Experience a sample class, meet other couples, ask questions, and get details about Fall classes & groups.



How Do I Tell My Man The Sex Sucks?

VIDEO: Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!!!! It’s a normal and healthy expectation in a marriage to be satisfied sexually. Oftentimes, people are frustrated and disappointed with the poor performance of their partner. So, exactly how do you express your dissatisfaction? Here, we give a young lady some suggestions on how to bring this subject up with her partner so that she can move 1 step closer to ecstasy. Aiyana also gives an example from her relationship with Ayize to his surprise! FUNNY!!! Check it out, learn, and laugh!

I Submit To You

VIDEO: Do you submit to your spouse in your relationship? Do you make sacrifices that show the relationship is about the both of you vs. just one of you. It’s a beautiful thing when your spouse recognizes and affirms your brilliance, beauty, and potential and then unapologetically says I SUBMIT TO YOU. My wife, Aiyana, told me she submit to me the other day….man, I can’t begin to tell you how that feels….but I’m going to try. Listen in.

Marriage Is For Grown Folks!

ARTICLE: The very first time my husband and I decided to enroll in Marriage Education classes I was so clear that there were some “issues” he needed to work on and I  was just waiting for his “Aha!” moment to come so he could let go of some of his baggage and stop working my nerves. Yup, that was  my thinking— pretty arrogant, right? Well, as each week passed what became clearer and clearer to me was the fact that I might be a bit “touched” too meaning I had some bags I needed to put down myself.  As a matter of fact I learned that I had a whole lot of baggage but I just didn’t realize it because I had been carrying it most of my life. So, I simply didn’t notice it. It was so much a part of me I couldn’t distinguish what part of me was the “real” me and what part was the “contrived” me, if you will.

You see, I believe we all have our real selves and our contrived selves. Our real selves are our most authentic and true selves. Our contrived selves are the person we’ve created  (subconsciously most of the time) to show to the world and yes even to our spouses. So how might this look in our relationships?  Check out VIDEO commentary: “Are You Keepin It Real?” .

Getting back to my original point…(ya’ll will soon learn—I can jump all around at times!), a real shift occurred in my mind, heart, and soul when I finally began to understand that the marriage God blessed me with, the relationship that I say is most important (after my relationship with The Most High) was not given to me for me to spend most of my time complaining about all of my spouse’s imperfections. Our relationships are not the place for us to let all of our stuff hang out with no regard for how that stuff is weighing us, our partner, and our relationship down. Our relationships are definitely not the place for us to revisit childhood and think that we should get everything our way. One of the biggest challenges I’ve noticed in doing work with couples is the difficulty we have with abandoning our individual agendas and moving towards what’s going to work best for the marriage. Typically, we’re so busy focusing on what our spouse is or isn’t doing that we don’t realize the part we play in perpetuating the problems we want to get rid of!

Marriage is one of the best places to grow and work on YOU if you’re up for it. Marriage is the place where 2 people can come together and pull and push eachother in love to be the best that God created them to be. Marriage is a place where one partner can model for the partner that just doesn’t seem to get it through your actions and not just your words. Marriage is a place where a brand new you can be born if we would just stop looking at our spouse, the next couple, and everywhere else outside of ourselves. Marriage can be a great place to work on SELF. Marriage is for grown folks!

Question: Why do you think people enter into marriage thinking it’s going to be nothing but a romantic cake walk?

(African) Americans Are More Likely Than Ever To Wed Outside Their Racial Group

VIDEO: Interracial marriages are stirring up the “melting pot” more than ever.  According to Diane Swayer in this June 2010 broadcast this has been happening at a record rate in America. In fact, 1 in 6 new marriages are interracial. What is interesting is that while interracial marriage has been steadily increasing in this country African-Americans have typically been slow to follow—-until now. A notable shift has happened in the black community. 22% of black men married outside of their race in 2008 while 9% of black women married outside of their race the same year. As I listened to this clip….I wasn’t really sure what to make of those numbers. I  wonder why a shift is now occurring in the black community and we apparently are now more open to interracial dating & marriage. I also find it curious that black men seem to be leading this climb in our numbers… Listen in to Diane Sawyer as she paints a picture of where America has been and is now. Food for thought…. As always, I would love to hear your take on this.

~Happy Friday                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Aiyana

Rise Above Your Circumstances

VIDEO: We’ve heard the saying: “Insanity is DOING the same thing over and over again while expecting different results”. Insanity is also ACCEPTING the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. Here, Ayize & Aiyana answer a young lady who asks if she should stay or leave her man because of his ongoing irresponsibility, disregard for her feelings, and lack of effort to move his family forward. When we recognize the shortcomings in our relationship….what do we do to change them? You can’t solve your current problems with the same thinking that created them. We have to be willing to look at the stone cold reality of our situation and then recognize and accept our role and responsibility in creating and even perpetuating that which we say we don’t want. If you want something different you’ve got to do something different. Bottom Line.