VIDEO: Michelle Obama recently sat down with ABC News’ David Muir during a recent trip to South Africa. She was accompanied by her daughters, cousins, and mother. She was asked “What advice will you give to your daughters when they fall in love?” Listen in to hear what she said…
Source: HuffPostAOL
By Team BLAM
Man O’ Man do we have some stories. As many of you know we’ve been together since we were 17. During the time that we were together in high school we managed a budding relationship fueled by curiosity, friendship, and HORMONES. LOL. Sometimes in our moments of reflection we actually look at each other and say “I can’t believe we were brave enough to do that.” Yall know what we’re talking about….those “sneak-n-freak” sessions. If you don’t know what we’re talking about…too bad…you missed out. Just kidding. What’s funny is that we were always trying to find a way to get cozy with each other while remaining considerate of “The Rules” our parents had in place. You know “The Rules” ….Company must leave before midnight, No boy should be in your bedroom, Keep your bedroom door open, Be back in the house by 1. Yeah those rules. While we had the utmost respect for “The Rules”…rules are meant to be broken…especially by teenagers. There were several times where we had to deal with “The Conversation” from our parents. It’s all good though..we knew we were destined to be together.
Fast forward 17 years and our world has drastically changed. Our connection has intensified and we now have 4 wonderful children all under the age of 10. With that being said….we know in about 10 years we’ll probably be caught in a tornado of issues dealing with teenage children. We’re ready, willing, and able for all that may come our way….so we think. LOL.
The other day we received a question from one of our viewers that prompted this post. They asked us what do we think about allowing your teenage children to have SEX in your home. Of course we were like WOW….if this was on the table back when we were teenagers we’d probably have 30 kids lol. Apparently this isn’t an anomoly…more and more parents are allowing there children to have sex in their homes because they feel like it is safer (i.e. reduces promiscuity and the chance of catching diseases) and leads to a more open and honest relationship with the parents. Oh…not to mention avoiding that infamous knock on the window by the police. So BLAM Fam we want to know what yall think. Would you allow your children to have sex in your home if they’re in a committed relationship? To make it more interesting we’ll throw two more questions in there because we know parents are allowing these as well:
Would you allow your teenager/young adult to smoke weed in your home?
Would you allow your 19 or 20 year old to drink alcohol in your home?
BLAM Fam let us know what you think….of course the common argument is that “I’d rather them do it in my house and I know what they’re doing…vs… do it out in the streets and get caught up.”
[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYEWqPMKbIA’]
VIDEO: Our children see us recording on a regular basis so they begged us to use our camera so they could record something. After bugging us for about 2 weeks we finally gave in and handed Asante (our oldest) the camera. He anxiously raced upstairs with his siblings and created a “good laugh”. Asante wanted to put the video on his youtube channel…which he did….but after watching it last night and having a good laugh we figured we’d also share his goofy behavior with the world. Enjoy.
By Ayize Ma’at
You’re probably thinking WTF!!??! Like my wife, you may be thinking why would you hope someone feels bad on Father’s Day? As co-owner of this site she expressed that she didn’t like “the energy” of this post on a day like Father’s Day. But, it’s my day and I’m gonna keep it 100. To be honest…. Your recklessness, abandonment, and shameful acts of irresponsibility have become my problem. Yes…when you don’t do what you are supposed to (i.e. teach your children) someone else does. What man allows another man to carry his own weight?
As a father raising four children I find myself shielding and protecting my children from a chaotic world that exists in our community because of your negligence. Boys disrespecting girls in our community exists because of YOU. High out of wedlock birthrates exists because of YOU. Bullying exists because of YOU. Teen pregnancy exists because of YOU. Identity confusion exists because of YOU. Low self esteem exists because of YOU. Angry black boys in an assembly line to prison exists because of YOU. Low academic achievement exists because of YOU.
Yes, the aforementioned statements are sweeping generalizations void of the panoramic perspective needed to examine black fathers. Yes, there are plenty of socio-economic variables that contribute to the host of social issues previously mentioned. Although I recognize the plethora of contributing factors, today I’ve chosen to focus exclusively on the communal impact of absent black fathers because they need to hear real talk and feel the real pain of neglected children and disappointed black men who have “manned up” because they’ve decided to “man down”.
For many of you the instinctive reaction is to turn toward your “baby’s mama” and say she’s the reason why you are not in your child’s life. I hear you. I believe she may have made it difficult for you. I know you probably hate her. But guess what champ…..GET OVER IT! IT AIN’T ABOUT HER. IT AIN’T ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. IT IS ABOUT YOUR CHILD. It may be hard as hell to get back in your child’s life. But isn’t your child worth going to hell and back?
Today, tomorrow, next week, next year when I’m walking down the street holding my sons hands or holding my daughters hands and I notice the furtive glances of children who have no father in their life…I WILL BE REMINDED OF YOU. Their eyes tell a story of disappointment, frustration, anguish, and abandonment. So yes…I hope you feel bad on Father’s Day….. because your absence has caused your children to feel bad EVERYDAY.
Spending time as a family has proven health benefits and strengthens your family’s bond. During the recession, people are scaling back on everything including outings with family and friends, but you don’t have to cut back entirely. Try these 100 fun, healthy and (mostly) free activities that you can do with your family today. Special thanks to Kathleen Baker for this awesome list that will leave us all with no excuses as to why we can’t spend some QT with the fam. Time isn’t always money…. 😉
By Diane Crawford
It is important for African American children to have African American dolls. Child psychologists say that doll play is valuable for many reasons, including self-esteem and ideals of beauty. Children learn who they are and imagine what they might be through their dolls, so it is very important that their dolls look like them, or like attractive role models with whom they can identify. Educators say that these children must learn to love themselves so that they can love and respect others. Building a positive self-image begins with appropriate toys and dolls.
The value of African American dolls has always been underestimated, most tragically by the very children who should treasure them the most. An often-repeated study even shows that black children will choose a white doll over a black one. Caucasians are still largely perceived and presented by the mass media — including children’s TV, books, films and games — as the norm, the default race. The hero may have sidekicks or friends of color, but the hero is nearly always white, although this is beginning to change. A blue-eyed, blonde Caucasian appearance is still considered the most desirable, and African American children pick up on this fact. (Learn more about this at pamshouseblend.com.) Now, more than ever, black children need to receive positive messages — that they are beautiful, that they are wanted as they are, that they can be heroes and achieve great things.
Where can you get a quality African American doll? Today, there is a great variety of African American and other ethnic dolls and toys on the market, including superheroes and action figures as well as babies and fashion dolls. Websites like blackdollaffair.com raise awareness of the need for beautiful African American dolls to give black girls self-esteem.
What do you think BLAM Fam? Is it that important for African American children to receive African American dolls or are we in a “post-racial” era as some people have declared and therefore it’s just not that serious?
Diane Crawford wants you to know that you can buy beautiful black dolls for children of all ages at pattycakedoll.com and sleepysoft.com. From simple rag babies to dress-up princesses, these dolls make excellent gifts for both girls and boys at Christmas, birthdays, or any time of year. Give the beautiful black children in your life a message of love and pride as well as a fun toy they will cherish and pass on to their own children.
In the relationship education classes that we teach, blended families are ALWAYS hot topics. Folks are often expressing how difficult it is to communicate with an EX in a respectable manner because the EX is simply CRAZY. This may be true….but when you do speak please be mindful about what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. It’s easy to get “caught up” in verbal confrontations with an EX. What you don’t want is your child being “caught up” and a scarred innocent bystander in your process. The below article from AOLBlackVoices touches on this important aspect of parenting and reminds us that we need to be more mindful about when and how we’re having verbal disagreements in front of our children.
By Mason Jamal
I’ve been a husband for six years. I’ve been a father for 18. Do the math. That’s negative 12. Who needs an abacus? I belong to a generation of parents who, in financial speak, are upside down. If our children were mortgages, we would be one nation underwater. Wait a minute, we are. Shucks.
From foreplay to foreclosure, we keep getting screwed. Blame it on the burst of the housing bubble or blame it on the burst of the condom bubble. Either way, things don’t always unfold the way we hoped.
Ideally, love and marriage should come before baby and carriage just as incontrovertible evidence should have come before Bombs Over Baghdad. Then again, Bush and Dick always had a mind of their own anyway.
Even though I’m no longer an unwed single parent, I’m not married to my son’s biological mother. And now that “blackman” (as my wife and I affectionately call him) is weeks away from high school graduation, I have some words of wisdom to share with other parents who aren’t married to the mother or father of their child(ren).
“Words” is the operative word here. Word to your mother. Word to your baby’s mother. Word to your baby’s father. However you want to word it, it’s the words that matter.
We all understand that things break apart. Relationships don’t come equipped with cases and holsters and screen protectors. They’re unprotected social experiments. Drop them one too many times — or one good time — and they will stop working properly. And while they don’t come with rubber cases, they should come with rubbers. You know what I’m talking about: that unopened box of latex balloons still sitting on the dresser as you scurry to the bathroom to grab a clean-up towel. And what do you know: Nine months later, yada yada yada, the relationship has broken and so has the water. Welcome little Kenyada to the world.
We all know the story. After the initial elation, the war of words commences. There are plenty of exceptions to the rule but not nearly enough. Too often the relationship spirals quickly into verbal violence, leaving the child as an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire.
But if we tilt our heads upward, invariably, we will see the high road. We should take it more often. All of us who find ourselves in such a situation are guilty to one extent or another of taking the low road. Several paragraphs ago, when I noted that I’m not married to my son’s biological mother, it took everything in me not to insert “winning,” but I refrained. While that certainly isn’t word warfare, it’s not helping.
Of course, there are (sometimes) reasons for the acrimony. When the reasons become so high pitched that you have to get your Phillip Bailey on and say something, find the time and place to say it when the child isn’t present. Even if the child support payments are late while the car note is current on the baby daddy’s caddy, the “baby mama drama” has to be brought at the right time. Poisoning our children against the other parent, regardless of reasons, is just as deplorable as the act committed by the other parent.
Living out the best of ‘Jerry’ and ‘Maury,’ unedited expletives and all, like Def Comedy Fam in front of the children isn’t exactly the hallmark of well-adjusted parents. Regardless of who is right or wrong, both parties end up sounding like stereotypes lifted straight from a Tyler Perry script. All that’s needed is Madea to hit her mark and smack both of them with her penis. Too much? I’ll apologize for the imagery as soon as TP apologizes for the character and his unbridled exuberance he exhibits every time he dons the bodysuit and wig to play said character.
Let’s get it together. Children shouldn’t be scarred by the hostility that exists between their parents. We need a no-fly zone. The love a child has for his or her parents should be unconditional and uninterrupted by hostile aggression from another parent. If we have nothing good to say about the other parent in front of a child, say nothing. The child will appreciate it.
No kids were hurt in the making of this post.
Mason Jamal writes about men, women and popular culture. For more of his musings, visit masonjamal.com. To have his commentary delivered to your e-mail, subscribe here. Keep up with Mason’s daily thoughts and observations by following him on Twitter @masonsays.
[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gO7Ej4c16A’]
VIDEO: So many of you have asked that we bring what we do online and the time has finally come!!!! Needless to say we are so excited about doing live interactive classes with singles and couples from all over the country at the click of a mouse. Technology is the bomb diggity (ok, corny I know…smile) and we are stretching ourselves, pulling all nighters, and getting it in like never before so we can create the kind of online class experience that will leave you so much stronger, better, and wiser then when you first step foot into our virtual classroom. We are ready for you! Are you ready to grow and learn? Class is in session!
***ONLINE REGISTRATION GOES LIVE TODAY AT 3:00PM***
FOR MORE DETAILS ABOUT THE CLASSES PLEASE CLICK HERE!
[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvpFISoZjRc’]
VIDEO: Please help us out and share this with any and everybody you know! This is our premier project for 2011 and we are so excited about all the wonderful people we’re going to meet and relationships that are going to be elevated. This is Real talk about real relationships going to the next level. There are positive examples of black love in the African American community and blackloveandmarriage.com is diligently working to bring healing and wholeness to love. Relationships require negotiation, compromise and flat out work. The online relationship classes we have starting in April will definitely show you how to find love and strengthen the love that you have. Registration begins March 9th. Classes begin April 18th.
For general information on the classes CLICK HERE.
No matter where you fall as it relates to abortion, young people and access to sexual health, or introducing contraception to young folks you have to know that there will be serious consequences for decreasing funding for Planned Parenthood’s work. The bottom line is that less money for Planned Parenthood will mean less access for the underserved and often forgotten….those usually without healthcare or a primary physician. What this impact could look like…..only time will tell. Check out what Lori Adelman from The Grio.com thinks about it below and then weigh in with your thoughts.
In Ms. Williams’* health class at a South Central Los Angeles high school, the students were full of questions.
“Where can I get checked out if I don’t have a lot of money?”
“Do those birth control pills my sister bought off the street corner really work?”
“Should I be nervous about the quality of care I’ll receive at the local clinic?”
Ms. Williams’ students reflect the mindset and situation of many Planned Parenthood clients: They understand the importance of “getting checked out”, but are often living in poverty, uninsured, or under-informed about where to obtain health services. And many of them are women and men of color. In 2009, 15 percent of Planned Parenthood clients were black. That’s more than 400,000 people. The number of black patients has been steadily increasing in recent years, with the number of black men visiting Planned Parenthood clinics increasing by a whopping 225 percent over the past 9 years.
Such are the inadvertent casualties of last Friday’s Republican-led attack on Planned Parenthood. In a measure known as the Pence Amendment (named for its sponsor congressman Mike Pence), the organization would be prohibited from receiving federal funds for any of its activities. The Pence Amendment was approved 240-185.
If the resolution is allowed to go into law as is, the nation’s most trusted name in sexual and reproductive health care will lose government support to provide family planning, contraception, lifesaving cancer screenings, annual medical exams, and testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections to millions of Americans.
Such a budget cut would trickle down to Planned Parenthood’s more than 820 local health centers nationwide and have devastating consequences for people like Ms. Williams’ students, who have few health care options, are predominantly black, and rely on the services of local clinics for access to high-quality and low-cost sexual and reproductive care.
As Ms. Williams sees it, the government is moving in the wrong direction by voting to defund the beloved health care organization. “We don’t need the government to be taking away funding from these clinics; if anything we need to be strengthening and increasing their efforts,” she stated. “Especially in the black community, we need more information and services because there is so much unmet need.”
The “unmet need” Williams refers to is real. According to a recent Hart Research survey, 54 percent of African-American women ages 18-34 have experienced difficulty purchasing birth control and using it consistently because it was too expensive. And African-American women have almost three times the unintended pregnancy rate of white women.
It’s obvious that our community can’t afford to have our services cut back now.
B Intentional Family, weigh in on this. Do you think cutting back Planned Parenthood’s funding will cut off critical healthcare options for black folks the most and do you think that it’s a sacrifice that needs to be made or will it make the issues worse?
CLICK HERE for the full story.
