How Long Will You Let Your Relationship Linger In LIMBO?

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ARTICLE/WITH MUSIC AND VIDEO COMMENTARY.  You can feel free to read the article without the music and commentary below.

By Ayize Ma’at

It’s very common to hear people complaining and expressing frustration over the space their relationship is in.  Folks are always looking for the next available ear to unload their “dirt” in hopes that there will be some kind of kindred spirit connection around familiar chaotic circumstances.  Unfortunately, while it’s VERY common to witness dating couples, newly weds, and established weds complaining, it is UNCOMMON to see people demonstrate initiative to make things better.  I will acknowledge, as ignorant as it sounds, sometimes it’s comfortable living in chaos.  There is a certain predictability, familiarity, and assuredness that accompanies staying in the space that you are in.  However, I think that if we are REAL with ourselves, we are staying in the space that we are in, specifically as it pertains to our relationships….because WE’VE ACCEPTED A SPIRIT OF RESIGNATION.  We’ve emotionally tapped out and quietly settled with the thought “it is what it is”.

No…no…no…no…NO!  I emphatically shout that to men, women, and families that have chosen to take an apathetic approach to their relationships.  HOW LONG WILL YOU LET YOUR RELATIONSHIP LINGER IN LIMBO?  You go through your days accepting the next apparent move instead of being intentional and choosing the right move.  Your relationship with yourself, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your fiance’, your spouse……DOES NOT HAVE TO STAY THE SAME.  However, I promise you that YOU and the condition of your relationship will remain the same OR GET WORSE unless you do something different.  I implore you to do something different…..stop lingering in limbo and live your love with intention.  With a heartfelt nudge I urge you to CLICK HERE and GET LOVE RIGHT!

It’s Time To Go To The Next Level. Online Couples & Singles Classes Have Arrived.

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VIDEO: So many of you have asked that we bring what we do online and the time has finally come!!!! Needless to say we are so excited about doing live interactive classes with singles and couples from all over the country at the click of a mouse. Technology is the bomb diggity (ok, corny I know…smile) and we are stretching ourselves, pulling all nighters, and getting it in like never before so we can create the kind of online class experience that will leave you so much stronger, better, and wiser then when you first step foot into our virtual classroom. We are ready for you! Are you ready to grow and learn? Class is in session!

***ONLINE REGISTRATION GOES LIVE TODAY AT 3:00PM***

FOR MORE  DETAILS ABOUT THE CLASSES PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Is Wearing A Black Wedding Dress THAT Bad For Your Second Wedding?

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Ok, I am getting married on March 12th . My fiancé is a widower and I am a divorcee. My dilemma is that I am a plus size bride having a very casual wedding and I have a simple white floor length dress that pretty much resembles a giant white curtain… Haha. It’s really not that flattering, but I was ok with wearing it long enough to get married & changing RIGHT after our I dos. I was then going to wear something more comfy and less white. Yesterday, I found the cutest black tea length dress that I feel very pretty & sexy in…and not at all nauseated when I think of being in front of 100 people in, as opposed to the white one. My fiancée thinks I should just wear the white one (which he has not seen me in). He was with me when I tried on & bought the black one & thought it looked very good. Is wearing a black dress THAT bad for your second wedding?

This question came from a bride to be who wrote in to the folks over at WeddingWire.com. And, we think it’s a very interesting question indeed. Are there rules for what you should or should not wear for second weddings? Should this bride do what makes her happy or pay attention to the message it may send and the impressions of others? Weigh in ya’ll! We want to know what you think.

The NEW Marriage Negotiations

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VIDEO: Please help us out and share this with any and everybody you know! This is our premier project for 2011 and we are so excited about all the wonderful people we’re going to meet and relationships that are going to be elevated. This is Real talk about real relationships going to the next level. There are positive examples of black love in the African American community and blackloveandmarriage.com is diligently working to bring healing and wholeness to love. Relationships require negotiation, compromise and flat out work. The online relationship classes we have starting in April will definitely show you how to find love and strengthen the love that you have. Registration begins March 9th. Classes begin April 18th.

For general information on the classes CLICK HERE.

Being MARRIED Is Different Than Being BOYFRIEND & GIRLFRIEND

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VIDEO: The other day my wife,Aiyana, and I spoke at a Young Professionals event about Black Love and the Art of Communication. There was standing room only and the crowd was FLYYYY. 😉 After we spoke a gentleman came up to me and said he honestly didn’t see the value in marriage and he felt like you could have the same thing in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that you can have in a married relationship. So I shared a few thoughts with him. Check out this video and get a better understanding of why being married IS different from being boyfriend/girlfriend.

Are Threesomes And Marriage A Dangerous Mix?

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VIDEO: It seems like this is a hot topic these days. A wife wrote in who’s interested in bringing a 3rd person into her and her husband’s bedroom. But she wants to know if moving into menage a trois land is just too dangerous for marriage. She also asks for ways to bring this up with her husband. Weeell, how do you think we responded??? You’ll never guess so go ahead and click play and then take a minute to leave a comment letting us know what you think about this. Agree…disagree, it really doesn’t matter. There is always more than one way and certainly more than one perspective so share yours and don’t forget to keep it 100% real! 🙂

Barack’s In Love With Michelle!

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VIDEO: Love is a beautiful thang…especially when you can genuinely witness it between two people. Barack & Michelle Obama have made a lasting impression in the hearts and minds of so many Americans. Love is good for the heart, mind, and soul and we just love watching it between Barack & Michelle. Enjoy this YT vid highlighting our fabulous President and his Queen Michelle!

My Husband Is Depressed…I’m Sick Of It…I Need HELP

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A viewer wrote in expressing her frustration over the fact that her husband has been increasingly shutting her out for the past year. He’s withdrawn from her and refuses to talk to her, go to counseling, or work on their marriage. He’s been out of work for a year and a half and she feels he’s slipped into a depression.

She is in a really difficult place. She wants to know what can she do…..listen in as we shed some light on her situation and let us know what you think.

Don’t Sacrifice Couple Time For Kid Time…Don’t Do It!!!!

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We understand that family is important and focusing on your children is extremely important. We also want you to know that focusing on your relationship is also very very important. Make sure you are intentional about lifting up and sustaining your relationship because it’s your love that will nourish your children for the rest of their lives.

Is Sex After Marriage Boring Or Do You Just Not Know How To Bring Out The Freak???

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What do you get when you have 4 brothers sitting around talking about sex after marriage? Before you answer that…what if one of the brothers is a relationship expert and one is a self-professed pimp? Listen in to this interesting conversation where 4 men go back and forth on how stale they feel sex after marriage is. What’s your take? All I’ll say is this: My name is Aiyana and it still gets hot & steamy in my bedroom (after 16 years of being together and 9 years of marriage)!!! And you better believe my husband knows how to get me ready… 😉 Listen in and let us know what you think.